Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 7

Where to Start

I’ve written quite a bit about building sibling relationships in the past few weeks, hopefully you’re not overwhelmed! It’s been a lot of information and a lot of ideas. You may be thinking “I want to build relationships with my siblings, but where do I start?” Start by being thankful for your siblings. God has designed your siblings to be your siblings. He placed you in the same family for a reason, and you need to be thankful for His wisdom in making your siblings just the way He did. Next, express thankfulness for and to your siblings! You need to thank God for your siblings, but you also need to show gratitude to your brothers and sisters. When was the last time you told your sister “Thank you for being my sister”? Or told your brother that you love him? Telling them these things will draw your heart to them, make you love them even more, and will draw the two of you together, building your relationship as siblings.

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 6

Activities for Siblings in General

I’ve written and being friends with sisters, brothers, and baby siblings. Now I would like to give you some ideas of things you can do with any of your siblings no matter how old they are or whether they are brothers or sisters.

• Read together ~ whether someone is reading aloud or each has their own book, sit together and read. One day last year, my mom came up to my bedroom to find me sitting on my bed reading my girly Jane Austen book and my brother sitting next to my with his World War 2 book.
  
• Cook together ~ get everybody together in the kitchen to make something together, or work on different dishes.
  
• Clean together ~ my siblings and I had fun cleaning the whole house together one weekend when our parents were out of town. It’s not too hard to find jobs for everyone to do; even a 2-year-old can wipe baseboards.
  
• Art and craft projects ~ gather everyone at the table to color, paint, make cards, etc.
  
• Talk! ~ Siblings need to talk to each other. Good communication is crucial in a family. My brother and I talk about everything from serious topics like life situations to not-so-serious ones like something funny that happened that day.
  
• Just spend time together ~ take the time to spend time with your siblings. Relationships take time and energy. So put some into your siblings.

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 5

Being Friends with Baby Siblings

Babies are so cute and fun! Their tiny hands and feet, and big eyes that take in everything around them. You may be thinking, “Why is she talking about babies in a series about building sibling relationships?” Well, I believe that good sibling relationships should start here. Don’t wait until your baby sibling is older to begin building a relationship with them, start now. Snuggle them. Play peek-a-boo and clapping games with them. It may seem weird some times, but talk to your baby sibling. Babies study peoples voices, that’s how they get to know people and learn to talk. So, talk to the baby, tell them how much you love them. We all have the need to know we are loved. We should begin telling our siblings we love them when they are babies. Something fun that builds a relationship with a baby sibling is a nickname. Nicknames create a special bond. I am blessed to have a sister 16 ½ years younger than me, and I have a nickname that I call her. Her face lights up when I call her by it, because she knows I am the only person who calls her that. Begin building a relationship with your siblings when they are babies, and you will find it easier to build on to it in the years to come.

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 4

Being Friends with Brothers

Brothers. I only have one brother, but I know that brothers are very different from sisters, and that’s because boys are different from girls. So, we relate to our brothers differently than we relate to our sisters. We build relationships with them in different ways from our sisters. While I was thinking about this, I asked my brother what a girl can do to build a relationship with her brother. He thought about it for a minute and then said, “Bake cookies!” That just proves that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and that includes brothers! So bake lots of cookies! :)

Another way to build relationships with our brothers is to show interest in their interests. People generally like to talk about the things they are interested in. Our brothers are no exception. We can show interest in their interests by listening when they talk about their interests. My brother has an interest in computer networking and programming and likes to share with me what he’s learning. I listen to him talk, but eventually he starts using terms I don’t understand and I have no idea what he’s talking about except that it has something to do with computers. When this happens, I politely stop him and tell him that I don’t understand some of the words he’s using. He then backtracks and explains the terms he used. This builds our relationship because my brother knows I really am listening to him. On this topic of showing interest, my brother did give a caution. We need to show interest, but not take the interest. My brother explained to me that if I had decided to show interest in his interests by learning about computers with him, he would have felt like it was a competition to see who could know the most about the topic, and lost interest in it. So be careful. You and your brother can have similar interests, but make sure it’s something you really are interested in.

A very important way we can build relationships with our brothers is by helping them be men. Boys were created to grow up to be men; to be leaders, protectors, and providers. We as sisters can help them become the men God created them to be by letting them lead. This can be hard to do (especially for older sisters!). We like to be in charge. However, we need to build up our brothers and encourage them to take the lead. When your brother makes a suggestion (maybe about what game to play, or how to play it), don’t just brush him off. Even if the idea sounds crazy, or like it won’t work, try it anyway. You might try asking your brother what he would like to do, or if he has a suggestion on how to do something differently. Of course, if you ask him, you have to be willing to do it!

The relationship between a brother and a sister can be cold, strained, and practically nonexistent, or it can be warm, strong, and pleasant. Build your relationship with your brother today by showing interest in him and letting him lead. And don’t forget the occasional batch of cookies! :)

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 3

Being Friends with Sisters

Being friends with sisters sounds so easy. They’re girls and we’re girls. But sometimes it’s not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes we have different personalities. I have one sister who loves pink. She would have the bedroom and everything in it pink if she could. My other sister, however, doesn’t care for pink so much. We each have differences like these, and sometimes it seems like we don’t have anything in common. But that’s when we get to learn and be creative! If you don’t think you have anything in common with your sister maybe you just need to learn more about her or learn to enjoy some of the things she enjoys. Something else you could do is find a new activity that both of you enjoy.

I think one of the best ways to build relationships with sisters is to have fun being girls together. On a cold, rainy day, pull out the teacups and have a tea party together. Get dressed up in pretty dresses together for special occasions. Learn to do each other’s hair. Have a girl’s movie night and watch a girly movie. One summer evening, my sisters and I did pedicures. We clipped and filed our toenails, put lotion on our feet, and then painted our toenails (pink, of course!). It was a lot of fun, and built memories that we’ll keep forever. So find some ways to enjoy being a girl with your sisters, and take the time to build relationships with them while you do it together.

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 2

Why You Should Be Friends with Your Siblings

You may be thinking, “Why do I need to be friends with my siblings? I have other friends, and, besides, they’re my siblings.” Well, I have three reasons why you should be friends with your siblings.

The first reason is a verse found in the Old Testament. Psalm 133:1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!” This verse tells us that it’s good and pleasant for siblings to be friends. It’s a good thing and it makes life more pleasant for you and everyone else.

Another reason we should be friends with our siblings is that our siblings will always be our siblings. Friendships change, people move away, start going to a different church, or their interests become different from ours. However, our siblings will always be there. I have had many friendships change over the years, but my brother and sisters have continued to love and support me and will continue to do so.

A third, and I believe the most important, reason we should be friends with our siblings is that we are Christians. The World, the people who do not follow God and His ways, expect siblings to fight and not like each other. However, because we are Christians, we should treat our siblings differently than non-Christians treat their siblings. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” and Ephesians 4:24 tells us to: “Put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”So, we are to stop treating our siblings as the World expects us to, and start treating them the way God wants us to treat them.

Hopefully, these three reasons I’ve given have helped you to see that we should be friends with our siblings.

Building Sibling Relationships ~ Part 1

It seems impossible that two people could live in the same house and only be mere acquaintances. And yet that is the state of most sibling relationships. We spend years living and growing together, but we don’t take the time to learn about our siblings and build a relationship with them. God has blessed me with good relationships with my siblings. I have a very special and unique relationship with each of them. We enjoy spending time together, and because we spend so much time together, we know each other. Besides my parents, my brother is the person who knows me the best. Having good relationships with siblings is not something that comes easily or quickly. It’s something we have to work at. It takes time and energy. Over the next few posts, I’m going to share with you ways to build relationships with your siblings, and encourage you to make them your closest friends.

Heart to Heart with Mom

All through my life, my mom has taken the time to talk with me about things going on in my life. She has used these times of conversation to guide and mentor me. As I have grown into a young adult, those talks have continued. I go to her with ideas, struggles, and situations I’m facing. Sometimes they’re short conversations, lasting only ten minutes or so, while other times we go for an hour or more. Looking back, I can now see how our discussion times have changed from a mother teaching and training her daughter to heart to heart sessions between an older woman and a younger woman. Yes, I still learn from these conversations with me mom, but I now receive joy from them as well. I have come to love the time we spend sitting on the couch or standing in the kitchen. Build your relationship with your mom. Go to her with your struggles and share with her from your heart. You will both be blessed beyond measure.

Mother, a Gift from God

Mother, a Gift from God
Words by J. Paul Williams

A mother is a gift from God,
Her voice is music to the ears.
A mother is a gift from God,
She gently wipes away each tear.
She takes the time for girls and boys,
She makes the sacrifice to bring her children joy.

God is working through her to teach us how to live,
God is working through her to show us how to give.
Teaching us to walk by faith,
Keeping our feet on solid ground,
God is working though her, love is her finest crown.

We can see God’s gift of grace in the way that she forgives,
We can see God’s gift of love in the way that she lives.

God is working through her to teach us how to live,
God is working through her to show us how to give.
Teaching us to walk by faith,
Keeping our feet on solid ground,
God is working though her, love is her finest crown.

God is working through her, love is her finest crown!


Happy Mother’s Day!